I've always loved the idea of going off for a day (or better still, a week) to a spa and having the bejesus pummelled out of me. Ok, it sounds a bit masochistic, but I feel sure that in the hands of the right person, with the right potions, lotions, scrubs and hot towels, I might emerge with a centimeter shaved off here and there. Sadly though, that kind of extravagance will have to wait until less straightened times. I will just have to do things the other way — ie eat less and exercise more. And I could always try a little DIY spa treatment to smooth off some of the wobblier edges.

So I am now armed with an arsenal of slimming products from French skincare company Matis, which supplies salons, but also sells its treatments to the consumer. And for a couple of weeks I have been dedicated to the task of exfoliating and anointing. First up in the four-step plan (this is not recommended for those with just five minutes to get out of a morning) is the Fleur de Sel Body Scrub (£23). A beautiful lilac colour, it smells fainly sweet and floral and feels very scratchy (as you'd expect from sea salt). Be warned, it goes everywhere as you rub it in (tummy, thighs, bottom, arms) so stand on a bath mat to minimise a mess of mauve crystals. Very pink skin (which soon fades) is the obvious result after showering, but as dead skins cells have been sloughed off, my legs in particular feel less dry.

Next comes the Cellu-Slimming Mask (£25) which is described as self- heating and is just for the legs. Crikey, just as well,  I don't think my tummy would like this. It's very thick paste-like — almost a struggle to get out of the tube — but smoothes on quite easily. After five to ten minutes (told you this was a lengthy business) it's back in the shower to rinse off with cool water, which just adds to the ultra braced feeling that my legs now have.

Now it's time for the Cellu-Draining Oil (£25). The idea is to begin at your feet and work up — Matis advises using your fists in rotating movements over the hips and then circular movements on the stomach before finishing by massaging your arms — so lots of think about. Don't be put off by the idea of using an oil - it smells lovely and absorbs into the skin quickly — no greasy residue.

It hardly seems necessary after all of that, but the finishing touch is the Tri-Active Slimming Concentrate. It's a gel-like cream, which smells pleasantly of grapefruit and feels cool when first on the skin. According to blurb, the four-part bit is that it prevents the formation and development of fat cells, drains toxin- laden cells to purify skin tissue and helps to improve elasticity. Phew, that's a big ask. But my legs in particular feel really toned and smooth and after two weeks of everyday use (apart from the scrub which has run out so I've brought on a substitute) I have noticed a difference to the feel and texture of my skin all over. I'm encouraged to keep going — Rome wasn't built in a day.